“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only
their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on
the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” Paulo Coelho
He looked broken, empty... a skeleton of what he once was. A sparkle of light danced in his eyes as his kids excitedly chattered and reached for his hand. I wondered to myself how much courage it must take to even get out of bed in the morning, much less show your face in any public place.
We all live the result of our choices. I am just as guilty of poor choices as anyone else. No matter what happens in life, we all have choices- if someone chooses to walk out of your life, you can either hold the door for them, or watch them leave with disdain and regret. Which feels better?
It takes just as much courage to express your Love when it's right as it does to walk away when it's wrong.
When decisions and choices present themselves, do we ask ourselves how it will impact others, or do we blindly charge in and deal with our actions later? As I've grown older, it's become evident to me that every choice, decision, and action impacts others, and how I ultimately choose depends largely on that instinct. Most importantly, will I feel good about myself and my intentions?
"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked him as someone put a camera in my hand to take their picture with him.
"Not at all," he smiled.
As I clicked the shutter and froze time, I realized that I was looking at a part of myself at that moment. It's not as if I've never sabotaged my own life. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of actually following through on something... as I look back, I attempted in vain to get validation from people that I wasn't worthy, that I was unlovable and a lost cause. None of that was a conscious thought, it was just how I survived, fought... I always felt as if I had to fight for my right to belong anywhere in this world, which is a lie I told myself for as long as I can remember. The truth will set you free, and my runway has never looked so clear.
After I took the picture, I smiled and shook his hand. We spoke for a moment about how beautiful the area is where his house sits a few miles down from my mom's.
"We love it out there," he smiled.
"It's God's country, that's for sure," I replied.
In that moment, I felt such compassion for a man who has had to live out the results of his choices in the public eye. Such unrelenting pain and remorse he must feel. I've felt that, but in my own private hell, out of reach, out of sight. No, he will never have what he had. He will never reach his full potential as a politician, but it's my great hope that he chooses to reach it as a man, a human being, a soul. That's his choice to make, and my choice not to judge or belittle him.
Extend kindness wherever you can. As the saying goes, we are all fighting a hard battle of one kind or another. Don't lose heart, don't give up, ever. The world needs more light, and all the love we can give.
dfk
